ONFM (Orgasmic Noises For the Masses)

Orgasmic Noises for the Masses Radio - mix of improv comedy on all subject matters from Pitbull to Hammersmith with an ensemble of the best electro, deep house, dance, new wave, french touch, techno, synthpop, post-punk, electronica, classic hip hop, and a few surprises

Every Saturday 5-7PM. Contribute through phoneline, texts, twitter, facebook, email (rss feed is a permissive method of communication)

The show features Patrick as your host with DJ Portillo behind the scenes manning twitter phonelines and spinning them vinyls

ONFM's influences: lcd soundsystem, soulwax, brodinski, gessafelstein, talking heads, louisahhh, slugabed, nina kraviz, chilly gonzales, todd terje, tiga, reggie watts, chris morris, charlie brooker, armando iannucci, kurupt fm, people like us, daft punk, brass eye, jessie ware, sbtrkt, metronomy, dusky, slugabed, lundstrom, kavinsky, justice, sebastiAn, matt berry, sldghmr, giorgio moroder, new order, omd, the velvet underground, hot chip, joy orbison, tim sweeney, dfa records, juan maclean, biggie smalls, scuba, blawan, tnght, jj fad, new edition, peaches, new build, the big lebowski, black dynamite, john hughes, the thick of it, ANTONY CARMICHEAL, tim key, woody harrelson (allen), ron paul


Patrick – the next generation musical raconteur, incidentally first year medic. Among his inspirations, he quotes Dianne Abbott (or as he affectionately calls her, a ‘One Track Lover’) to have a pivotal impact on his style of comedy. During his turbulent and long-lived youth, he experienced everything from being a travelling greengrocer through organising K2 tax avoidance scheme to having a hot and strictly passionate affair with someone who is supposedly an extra on Made in Chelsea by day but by night a eurotrash eco guerilla (the details are blurry to this day). His proudest achievement to date is the fact that he started using decimal system before it was hip. Some say that he is simply spiritually on the ball and a natural born trendsetter, others that he can’t distinguish his left bollock from the right. Friends refer to him as the contemporary man – you can spot him on the campus in brightly coloured trousers and various blazers that add an aura of cuntishness to his persona. Fear not because underneath you will find a loveable fuzzball that you just want to listen to every Saturday from 5pm.

DJ Portillo - after disgracing himself in the House of Parliament and Conservative Party, he went on to find himself in an Evangelical Christian Retreat Centre in rural Arizona. Little did he know, it was a cover story for the notorious Zetas drug cartel – a classic money laundering scam. Perplexed and intrigued, he joined on board; during his 5 years with them, he tasted the sweetest guava juice this side of Mississippi and had some hot purely sexual relationships with best B-grade ass the city of Caracas can offer. Unreformed in his ways, he was caught and convicted for illegal possession of plutonium for religious purposes. In 2013 he entered the Ealing Hospital NHS Trust Mental Health Ward for extensive treatment. As a result, he found out that in order to control his urges, music was his drug. Ever since, he started pursuing music as a way to give back to the community. He has a particular interest in reaching the students with his music & message because he identifies them as ‘the future mixers & shakers of the society’ or ‘the prime gene pool for restoring the British Greatness’. The source of his inspiration are Wagon Wheels. In his spare time he shadows the waiters in the Spanish Tapas Bar in Hammersmith.

Previous Broadcasts

Choose a date to see show notes and track listings, or click the “Replay” link to hear it again!

Saturday 15 March 2014 (17:00 – 19:00) ▶ Stream ▶ Download stream
Saturday 8 March 2014 (17:00 – 19:00) ▶ Stream ▶ Download stream
Saturday 8 June 2013 (17:00 – 19:00) ▶ Stream ▶ Download stream
Saturday 1 June 2013 (17:00 – 19:00) ▶ Stream ▶ Download stream
Saturday 25 May 2013 (17:00 – 19:00) ▶ Stream ▶ Download stream